Friday, December 23, 2011
Some days it just hits me all over again. This is our girl. For life. She's ours to care for and love. Ours to snuggle and smooch. Ours to try our patience every day. Ours to sacrifice time and freedom to be with her, to not miss a moment of her growing. Ours to raise in the "nurture and admonition of the Lord." Ours to tickle and rock and hum to. Ours to feed and clothe and educate.
There's days I wonder that they let us take her home from the hospital, days I have no idea what I'm doing, and no idea why she's crying or how to comfort her. Nights she just plain doesn't want to go to sleep.
But then there's nights she sleeps for 11 hours and eats and naps on a perfect cycle all day long and plays contentedly in between. Days that she smiles up at me with such an innocent, whole-hearted grin that I just want to grab her and hug her and smooch that sweet face a million times. And I do.
I'm in awe of how beautiful she is. How such perfection came from the two of us, I just don't know! Except that the Creator-God had His hand in it. And we're so grateful she's so healthy. So grateful we didn't have to spend her first weeks visiting her in the hospital like one family I know. So grateful she's not waiting for a kidney transplant like another baby boy I know.
Yes, those lashes, they kill me.
She's so precious when she's just waking up. She's so happy to see me coming into her room. The photos above & below were from a morning I brought her downstairs (after stripping off her wet pjs and changing her peed-through diaper). She was waiting to eat, and so sleepy and smiley and stretchy.
A friend of mine, years ago, when talking about his firstborn daughter, told me "she breaks my heart a thousand times a day." I don't know why that phrase stuck with me all these years, but I think I get it now. Every moment with this girl as she is right now is fleeting. She's almost unbearably amazing in all the things she's learning, in all the ways she's growing and changing.
I know. The eyes. They kill me too.
She recently discovered her feet, and found that she can fold herself in half. And I love to watch as she tries to figure out what to do with these new discoveries.
I love this adventure.