You really don't need to read this. whoever you are, however bored you are, whatever you think is about to come after this sentence, I'm just warning you now. You really don't need to. You probably won't gain anything but a niggling sense of wondering if my mind maybe needs to go in for an alignment.
But the other night, I dreamt of killer clams. Blogger right now is telling me that dreamt is not a word. But it is. I checked. And I like it better than dreamed.
So, they perhaps weren't clams, and they didn't really kill anyone, but in my dream, I was at a summer camp, and I was rock climbing without any kind of equipment, and all over the boulders I was scaling were these creatures living in shells. They were mostly attached to the boulders at their hinges, and they mostly kept their traps shut. But I think that all of my climbing started to irritate them after a bit, and they started snapping at me.
Now, I have tried rock climbing before, on one of those indoor walls where you're all harnessed up and if you lose a handhold it's no big deal. You may end up dangling from your belt feeling foolish, but you don't lose a finger, and you don't crack your skull on the ground 20 feet below you.
But if your handholds were to suddenly start to snack on you…you can see how tricky that might make things, can't you? Hey…what are you doing here? I told you you don't have to read this!
So, the next thing I knew in this dream was that the killer clams (for lack of a better name…I'm not worried about that whole "innocent until proven guilty" for rabid shellfish)…anyway, they popped off the rock and were then in my living room, occasionally jumping a couple of feet and snapping their razor-sharp shells as they did. It made walking around barefoot rather perilous.
And that was pretty much it. I don't think either I or the killer clams came to an untimely end. I'm not sure if we called a truce--I'd stop climbing on them if they'd stop biting my fingers. I just moved on to something else, but nothing so memorable as the killer clams.
What are you still doing here?